Sharon and I recently took a riverboat lunch cruise down the Cumberland River in Nashville. The cruise was great, but it was the lunch that lingers in my memory. It was served in a room full of circular tables that each seated 10 people. As we found our place, we wound up next to a young couple. The man was talking intently to the woman — so intently that they never even acknowledged us sitting down next to them. I’m terrible at guessing ages, but I would say they were about 20. Neither was wearing a ring of any kind, so they appeared to be on a date. And judging by the gist of his conversation, it was a first date.
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The young man never stopped talking to the girl throughout the entire lunch. I’m not exaggerating when I say he barely took a breath, yammering on and on about all of his adventures and experiences. Clearly, he was trying to impress her, but it wasn’t working. The girl never got a word in, and all she could do was smile and nod politely. We felt sorry for her. You could tell she was wishing for an escape hatch. His yakking was so relentless that I had to restrain myself from blurting out, “For heaven’s sake, man, let her speak! Ask her a question! Tell her she looks nice. Anything! Just take a break!”
‘Quick to listen, low to speak’
I managed to stifle myself, but it reminded me that while we can do much ministry by comforting, encouraging and consoling, sometimes the best approach is just to listen, to let others know you are there for them and to let them speak and vent. In the Book of James, the half brother of Jesus writes, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger” (1:19). In Proverbs, you can find advice that says, “The one who gives an answer before he listens — this is foolishness and disgrace for him” (18:13).
We all have thoughts and opinions and experiences we’d like to share, but for any conversation to be truly enjoyable, it has to work both ways. That may be the only way we can continue a meaningful relationship. These two young people were complete strangers to me. I will likely never see them again.
But I’m pretty sure he didn’t get a second date.
EDITOR’S NOTE — Ken Lass is a retired Birmingham television news and sports anchor and an award-winning columnist for numerous publications and websites.
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