Most, if not all, couples desire a happy relationship: marriage. However, a larger percentage of couples do not have the kind of marriage of which they dreamed.
Jesus, our Lord, told a parable found in Matthew 7:24–27 that is supportive of that. A man built his house on the sand, and when the rain fell, the house fell because it was built on the sand. A second man built his house on a rock, and when the rain fell, the house stood firm because it was built on a rock.
When couples build their marriage on maturity, they will stand. Research done with a very large sample discovered that lower social class influences poor mental health and poor mental health influences high divorce rates.
Religion, per se, does not have significant input on relationships. Mature Christian faith and devotion to Christ does have a positive influence on the quality of the success of a marriage. But immaturity is dysfunctional to happiness in marriage. Maturity is characterized by high self-concept, our concept of others, open communication, flexibility and security. Having been a professor of family sociology at Samford University and in private marital and family counseling for many years, I am aware how immature religion may be harmful to marriage. A couple may be very active in their church and have many serious marital problems. There may be dissensions over the amount of time spent in church or control of money.
Individuals who are more mature are likely to have structured classes and more premarital counseling. Couples who are more mature have more extensive dating, older age and longer engagements. People who are more mature are also able to make better early adjustments. They are more likely to try working things out instead of “calling it quits.” If the couple has the good fortune of having good examples from their parents being happy in their marriage, it is also beneficial.
Henry E. White Jr.
Homewood, Ala.
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