When a pastor search committee begins to review resumés, few words throw red flags like the word “divorce.”
In most cases, such resumés are tossed aside immediately. Those that are actually read rarely get more than a passing glance.
“Divorce is a trapdoor word,” said Barney Self, a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in Nashville, who worked for many years as LeaderCare counselor in the pastoral ministries area for LifeWay Christian Resources.
“In the pastoral realm, the ‘D’ word becomes a switch that is flipped, and very rarely are these pastors considered for senior pastor or other ministry positions again,” he said.
Dale Huff, director of the office of LeaderCare and church administration for the Alabama Baptist State Board of Missions (SBOM), works with divorced pastors and sees the effects their personal lives can have on their ministries.
“Southern Baptist ministers tend to be detrimentally affected by divorce, even if the reason for the divorce would fit a biblical reason and even if the divorce occurred before salvation and call and was years in the past,” Huff said.
Huff has worked with many pastors struggling to find ministry positions after a divorce. Though he knows of no good research with specific numbers, the anecdotal evidence is overwhelmingly against these men finding ministry positions.
“The ‘divorced’ label diminishes a pastor’s consideration greatly,” he said. “Divorced ministers tell us that 90 percent of churches will no longer consider a divorced man as pastor for a full-time position.”
Huff added that staff ministry positions are more commonly available for divorced ministers, though he estimates that 75 percent of churches would not consider a divorced man for those positions either.
“There are exceptions to the rule, but the vast majority of ministers are detrimentally affected by divorce in the number of churches that will consider them and in the size church that will consider them,” he said.
Divorced pastors often find a way to continue in their pastoral calling by serving in bivocational church positions.
Gary Farley, director of missions for Pickens Baptist Association, has worked with several divorced pastors over the years, including four pastors who are currently serving bivocationally.
“God is using them, and they are all doing very creditable jobs,” he said.
Farley acknowledged that acceptance of divorced pastors is often easier in smaller communities, where the pastor is known and people know more about the circumstances of his past. Even so, there are still those who resist the idea of a divorced man serving as pastor.
“In one of these churches, there were ripples when they extended a call to the pastor,” he said. “A few of the older members were not pleased.”
Fellow pastors in the association have been honest about their feelings as well.
“Those pastors in our association who are supportive talk about how God is a God of second chances,” Farley said. “But those who were against the ordination of these men were honest about their feelings and did not participate.”
For those who are unable to find ministry work, the SBOM offers career assessment and guidance, helping them consider other vocational options, Huff said.
Though most drop out of the ministry, some go on to find alternative ministry roles, such as hospice chaplaincy, counseling, teaching and, for some, serving in a church of a different denomination.
Churches that are considering a minister with divorce in his past should consider the candidate’s ministry gifts as part of the decision, Self said.
Though different churches have different stances on the issue of divorce, Self added it is important to know the heart of the man and know what happened in the situation.
“That doesn’t mean accepting everyone who is divorced as pastor material,” Self explained. “A divorced pastor needs to be acceptable because the person’s heart is right or because there is a fit in ministry, not because they have been divorced or not.”
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