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Alabama Baptist mothers share experiences, advice along the journey of parenthood

  • May 8, 2003
  • TAB Media staff
  • Alabama News, Parenting

Alabama Baptist mothers share experiences, advice along the journey of parenthood

New mothers holding their babies for the first time express a sense of awe and unconditional love they have never felt before. And while this mother-child bond transcends all generations, there are several aspects of motherhood that have changed throughout the years.

A group of mothers from central Alabama recently offered their insights to how motherhood has been modified throughout the years by sharing some of their journey.

The actual birthing procedure came to the forefront as one definite change.

Jo Ann Miller, a member of Lakeside Baptist Church, Birmingham, said, “The hospitals have certainly changed a lot since my children were born.

“In the 1950s, once you got to the hospital, the prospective [mother] was taken to a room, and the husband and other adult members of the family were sent to a waiting room,” she explained. “When the baby was born, they had to view it from the nursery window. No children were admitted to the area at all, and only the new mom could hold the baby until after you left the hospital and went home.”

Miller, who is a mother of four, grandmother of 11 and great-grandmother of one, said, “Today the new little one is welcomed into the world by the whole family including siblings and grandparents.”

Miller’s daughter Linda Cotten said the new birthing procedures developed out of “advances in attitude as well as technology.”

“Mothers and fathers both get to have a more intimate relationship with their newborns now,” said Cotten, who lives in Pelham and is a mother of two and grandmother of one.

Along with more family participation in a newborn’s arrival, expectant and new mothers also are more educated today about what to expect during pregnancy, the birthing procedure and afterward, said Rebecca Marsh, a member of Huffman Baptist Church and expectant mother.

Marsh’s mother, Connie Burks of Hueytown, agreed. “I wish I had known what I was to go through. Anytime you have information it is so much better,” said Burks, a member of Dawson Memorial Baptist Church, Homewood.

“In 1974 they did not educate you upon what to expect,” Burks said. “There were no tests to indicate the sex of your child, and no one told me what labor would be like. There was a lot of pain, but it was all forgotten the moment I laid eyes upon Jennifer (Burks’ first child).”

Burks’ mother, Mary Christine Herren (known as Mama Tean), said women are definitely given better care now than when she delivered her three children in the 1940s. Marsh noted that while she is taking birthing and parenting classes Burks can take grandparenting classes. “We have so much opportunity for preparation and education,” said Marsh, whose baby is due in December.

Of course, Marsh said, sometimes “they let you know too much. It can be scary.”

Not only do slight fears resonate about the idea of carrying and delivering the baby but also about raising the child, Marsh explained.

“I can’t think if anything that will be more challenging or rewarding,” she said, noting “I expect motherhood will be one of the greatest blessings that I will ever receive.”

As Marsh contemplates what those challenges will be for her in the 21st century, Burks recalled some of the challenges she faced in the 1970s.

“At 20 years old I was a young mother, and I had to learn how to care for the needs of my new bundle of joy,” Burks said. “We stayed with my mother and daddy for the first week after we came home from the hospital. At that time you stayed a complete week in the hospital.”

While the doctor and nurses helped Burks, she said, “My precious mother was invaluable in her advice and assistance.

“John (her husband) and I were so afraid at first, afraid we would break [the baby] and do something wrong,” Burks explained.

Then 13 months later Burks found out she was pregnant with Rebecca. “At first I cried,” she said. “I thought, ‘Oh no, I can’t do this again, so soon.’ But the Lord gives strength to those who ask, and He was merciful to me because Rebecca was such a good baby.

“Now with two little girls, I was truly busy,” said Burks, who chose to be a stay-at-home mom. But “I miss those days of fun and happiness with our little girls growing up. We were content to stay at home,” she said. “We would play in our yard, have our tea parties and dress our dolls. Their daddy built them a playhouse, and they had their swing and lots of toys and the undivided attention of their mother.”

Herren, a member of First Baptist Church, Bessemer, married in 1941 and remembers facing World War II as a young wife. When her new husband was shipped off to war, Herren found herself back at home with her parents.

“My mother was sick, so I kept house and cooked for our family of eight,” she said. She also gave birth to her first child in 1942. “My husband never saw our baby girl until he came home in 1945 after the war,” Herren noted. “Ann was 3 years old.”

“I expected to be a good mother by being at home with them, keeping them clean, well fed and always loving them,” Herren said, noting she did work a part-time job for a few years.

Cotten, who had her children in the late 1970s, balanced raising her children with a full-time job outside the home. “I was married in 1976 but have been a single mother since my children were quite young.

“I have always worked,” said Cotten, a high school English teacher. “And while it was difficult to do it all, I do not regret it.

“My children attended the school where I taught, and they were both in my class when they were seniors,” she explained. “I wouldn’t take anything for that experience.”

Cotten, a member of The Church at Brook Hills in Birmingham, said, along with serving as their high school English teacher, “I have been their primary teacher about life itself.

“We have done extensive traveling through the United States with my parents, and I have taken groups of students to Europe many times and have been able to take my own children with me,” she said. “Taking them places and seeing them learn so much has given me some of the best times of my life.”

Cotten said she wanted to raise her children the same way she had been raised, and the travel time together is one testimony to the fact that she followed her mother’s example.

Miller, who also worked off and on during her child-rearing years, encourages mothers to spend time with their children. “Read to them, camp or travel with them, teach them everything you can at home and in the world around them,” she said. “Teach them responsibility and discipline them when necessary. Take an interest in the things they are involved in.

“Keep [your children] in church and involved in the children’s activities and the youth program,” she added.

Cotten agreed that mothers should work to instill Christian values in their children.  “The adversary is everywhere in the world around them, but if they know the Lord they will have a treasure that the world can’t give them nor take away from them.”

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