By Robert L. Olsen, Ph.D.
Assistant Professor of Christian Studies, University of Mobile
Walking as Family
Ephesians 5:22–6:4
This section of Paul’s letter deals with family dynamics in light of being a Christian. In Paul’s day the Gentiles lived unlike the Jews and there were many cultural issues that could get in the way of serving Christ. This is not unlike today when Christianity enters a new culture and is confronted by cultural practices that may be antithetical to the gospel. Missionaries have always had to confront such things and here Paul is laying out how families should operate in light of the gospel.
Wives (5:22–24)
Many in our culture do not think favorably of the idea of submission. This is due in part to American culture’s emphasis on individualism but also to the abuse of the word in practice. Some Christians have interpreted the idea of submission as dictatorship, in which the one who is submitting is more or less a slave and can be treated as such.
However, this is not the biblical idea of submission. Paul emphasizes throughout his epistles that we are to serve one another in love and Christ is the reason we submit to one another. Just as Christ does not lord Himself over us but loves us and considers us as friends, so too do wives submit to their husbands. If a marriage is comprised of two equally yoked believers then this should not be a difficult issue. Biblical submission occurs out of love and with Christ in mind.
Husbands (5:25–33)
The husband is to submit to Christ. Anyone who submits to Christ’s lordship displays the fruit of the spirit (see Gal. 5:22–26) which produces godly characteristics. The husband has a duty to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. Christ loves the Church so much that He died to redeem us. This is the type of love men should have for their wives — a sacrificial love.
This passage also affirms marriage is intended to be between a man and woman, not between multiple women or men nor between individuals of the same gender. Paul compares the marriage between a man and woman as representing Christ and the Church. This is why the modern movement to force the Church to accept same-sex “marriage” is unbiblical.
Some may argue that polygamy existed in the Old Testament, but polygamy is never exhorted in the Old Testament and it never ends well. When Jesus talks about marriage He refers to the relationship between a singular man and singular woman.
Children (6:1–3)
We often think of this verse in light of small children but it applies to older children as well. Children are to obey their parents because God has put parents in charge of their own children. It is often said that it takes a village to raise a child but this is not God’s design. Parents should raise, provide and take care of their children. Children learn how to respect God and their elders by first respecting their parents. Even after children become adults and leave their parents’ home they are commanded to honor their parents.
Honoring parents is an easy task when the parents are seeking the Lord, but certain conditions occur in which honoring is a more difficult task. Still we are called to do so in all circumstances. Honoring our parents by showing them respect and praying for them is one way we honor God.
Parents (6:4)
Fathers are called to want what is best for their children. It is the job of parents, and in particular fathers, to raise their children in the instruction of the Lord. This includes teaching children the Bible and a Christian worldview.
One of the difficulties in parenthood is when children venture out on their own. This can be especially difficult if the child ends up going overseas on the missions field. I know many parents who are hesitant for their children to be missionaries because of the risks involved. But if the parents are seeking the will of God they will allow a child to follow God’s will for him or her.
As parents we should delight when our children follow God’s will even if that path seems dangerous to us.
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