‘Get Rid of All Bitterness…’

It has been more than a quarter of a century since the church split. For some, the event is old history. For others, the wounds are as fresh as if it had happened yesterday.

The pastor at the time had served the church just over a year when he offered a motion in business meeting to dismiss all the deacons. When the motion failed by one vote, the deacon chairman offered a motion to dismiss the pastor. That motion carried by one vote. The result was predictable — two congregations.

Friendships ruptured in the process. Families suffered as members chose different sides. It was an ugly episode and the ugliness lingers. For some, the pastor’s name is still like a curse word. For others, it is the deacon chairman’s name that draws their ire.

People still pass each other on the sidewalks and look the other way. They refuse to speak to one another in the grocery store. Some of those who lived the experience never miss an opportunity to say an unkind word about the other side. Occasionally the unkind words are embellished but the speakers do not seem to care as long as the words inflict pain or discredit the other group.

For some who lived through the painful separation, nothing could please them more than to see the other group fail. Even some who did not experience the separation firsthand have been infected by the venom. Now they share the hope of failure for the other side.

Sadly, this true story is not unique. Circumstances and names might be different, but the lingering impact of disagreement is too well known in Baptist life. Too many of us have witnessed the bitterness and anger, even the brawling and slander rooted in disagreement and division.

The Word of God tells us to act otherwise. In Ephesians 4:31, the apostle Paul wrote, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”

Every phrase or word in the Greek language has special meaning. “Get rid of” not only means “let it be removed,” it also tells us “to having nothing more to do with it.” The word translated all means every kind and every trace.

The word translated bitterness refers to long-standing resentment, a spirit that refuses to reconcile. It refers to brooding over insults and injuries that not only keeps them alive but causes “the root of bitterness” to grow deeper and deeper into one’s being. It describes one who keeps score of wrongs.

“Rage and anger” describe two different human emotions. Rage refers to uncontrolled, spontaneous outbursts of emotions. It is like the explosion of gasoline when touched by a flame. It is quick, powerful and then gone. Anger, on the other hand, is the kind of anger that has become habitual.

“Brawling and slander” also have different meanings. Too often disagreements between Baptists have degenerated into actual “brawls” but that is not the meaning of this word. The King James translation uses the word clamor, the New International Version uses brawling.  The actual meaning is “shouting.” It is that human emotion that causes one to engage in “noisy assertiveness,” to quote one scholar. “Slander” is the word for abuse. It is insulting speech and, like the others, has its roots in “malice.” The word malice means more than ill will. It is the translation of a Greek word meaning evil.

Each of these evil traits is characteristic of life before one finds Christ as Lord and Savior. They are part of the “old man” or “former way of life” that Christians are to put off (v. 22).

The apostle Paul goes further. He declares that Christians are “not to let any unwholesome talk come out of [their] mouths” (v. 29). To do so “grieves the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption” (v. 30).

Over against this list of don’ts, Paul provides a list of do’s. He instructs in verse 32 for Christians to be kind to one another, to be compassionate to one another, to forgive one another. These are part of the “new self” believers are to put on (v. 24).

Again the Greek is helpful. The word be has the flavor of become. It recognizes that none has attained “the whole measure of the fullness of Christ” (v. 13), but the direction is clear. Christ is our example.

Kind is to show a “sweet and generous disposition.” It is to be as concerned about the feelings of others as about one’s own feelings; to care about the affairs of others as much as one cares about one’s own affairs. Kindness looks outward as well as inward.

Compassionate implies tenderness.

Forgiving one another is supposed to be a characteristic of Christians. In Colossians 3:13, Paul wrote, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.” Then he adds,”Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

That is a familiar theme. In Ephesians 4:32, Paul writes, “Forgive each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.” God’s forgiveness of us cost Him His only begotten Son who died on Calvary’s cross for our sins. Surely, says the apostle, after you have been forgiven so much at such a great price, you can forgive one another.

In Matthew 18:23–35, Jesus tells a story of a servant whose master forgave a great debt for him. But the servant, in turn, refused to forgive a small debt owed him by another. When the master heard about the servant’s behavior, he said, “You wicked servant. I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” (vv. 32–33).

Then comes a stingy declaration. Jesus says, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

In light of Jesus’ very words and Paul’s explanation of them, one can only wonder what church life would be like if we all heeded them.

Would it have made a difference in the church described above or in any of today’s similar situations?

Would it make a difference in convention life?

Would it make a difference in the way Baptists of the world relate to one another? Christ’s directions are clear. The question is about our willingness to follow them.