It’s a tightrope that many a Baptist minister has found himself tiptoeing across: How to please his congregation without falling into the “people pleaser” trap. How can a pastor keep his balance?
“Ah, the age-old question,” said Kevin Blackwell, executive director of Samford University’s Ministry Training Institute in Birmingham and assistant to the president for church relations. “Every pastor deals with this on a weekly basis. The apostle Paul dealt with it. He says to the Galatians, ‘For do I now persuade men or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I wouldn’t be a bondservant of Christ’ (Gal. 1:10). There is an undeniable tension particularly for pastors who enter a new field of service.”
Blackwell laid out a typical scenario for how that tension works.
“A new pastor arrives at a church. The pulpit committee has said all the right things and he feels genuinely optimistic toward an effective future and great growth opportunities for the church. He has good ideas and spends the first few months observing the issues in the church that need to be dealt with and the growth hindrances that need to be changed.
“After a time he suggests to key church leaders and deacons that certain longstanding (ineffective) programs and traditions need to be changed in order to maximize the church’s outreach efforts and relevance to the culture in which it serves. That may include changes to worship style, staff, bylaws, budget, facilities, educational structures, etc.
“Inevitably the pastor receives a mixed bag of responses which leads him to a crisis of decision. Does he make the changes that he knows are most needed or does he capitulate to the loudest voices and best tithers who seem to have issues with his suggestions?”
Jimmy Jackson, pastor of Whitesburg Baptist Church, Huntsville, said the line between pleasing congregations and being a people pleaser may be difficult to see but “determining to please the Lord by teaching and preaching the truth should keep us on track.”
“Priority is God first, people next,” Jackson asserted.
Scriptural passages underscore that motto.
For God’s glory
Blackwell said, “Paul gives us continual encouragement on doing things for the Lord’s glory and not man. ‘And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ,’ Colossians 3:17. Though Paul is speaking specifically in Colossians 3:22–23 about the relationship slaves have with masters, the biblical principle applies to all circumstances. ‘Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men.’”
Jackson said pastoral ministry classes teach pastors how to deliver God’s Word with “a heart of love” but suggested that it can be difficult to speak hard truths.
“Skirting the truth for fear of hurting someone’s feelings or from fear of criticism would be like going to a medical doctor who won’t tell you how sick you are because he does not want to hurt you,” Jackson said. “Common sense would tell us that the truth may hurt but it may also save a person from greater pain.”
Blackwell said new ministers probably don’t receive enough training on the issue. “Every seminary student receives some type of training in relation to leading congregations through change and relational effectiveness but sometimes balancing the two can be a daunting task,” he said.
‘Larger-than-life plans’
“Many young pastors come out of seminary with larger-than-life plans to set the world on fire for Christ and enter a field of service to which most of their ideas are shot down,” Blackwell said.
“They grow frustrated and tired of conflict and they settle into a ‘preaching and visiting’ mindset, simply performing maintenance ministry rather than missional ministry.
“People pleasing is an exhausting endeavor because there is never an end to it. You will never get to a place where you say, ‘I have successfully pleased everyone with my awesome decision-making,’” Blackwell said.
“People pleasing is a ministry killer and most churches go into deep decline when it is led by membership preferences rather than a missions focus,” he said. “The churches that are able to turn things around most effectively have pastors who hear the voice of the Holy Spirit much louder than influential members and don’t mind short-term tension for long-term gains for Christ.”
Determination to serve God does not, however, mean that congregants’ views and feelings should be disregarded.
Jackson said, “A pastor who is arrogant and legalistic might preach with little regard for the people. But if he loves the people he will preach the truth in love and keep the Lord first in his preparation and preaching.”
Blackwell added, “If a pastor cares nothing of pleasing anyone he becomes a dictatorial leader who will eventually lose respect from his members.
“Wise pastors seek the counsel often of those godly saints in the congregation,” he said, noting Proverbs 11:14, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”
“A wise pastor seeks the heart of spiritually discerning people in his church before making major decisions,” Blackwell said. “That isn’t being a people pleaser. That is being a God pleaser.”
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