‘How to Visit the Hospital Correctly’

When it comes to outlandish scenarios involving the lack of proper etiquette during hospital patient visitation, Chaplain Danny Watkins has tales to tell.
   
That’s one of the reasons he recently conducted a seminar on “How to Visit the Hospital Correctly,” held at the Alabama Baptist State Board of Missions (SBOM) building in Montgomery.
   
Watkins, who is the chaplain of the University of Alabama  Hospital in Birmingham, was not surprised that the majority of the 40 attendees were lay persons from across the state. “Many more people are helping take the load off their pastors by starting to visit church members who are in the hospital as a ministry,” said Watkins, who holds a doctorate in psychology and counseling and a master’s degree in divinity.
   
“Sometimes a lay person can offer something (to the patient) the pastor can’t, depending on who they are and what they have experienced,” said Watkins, a member of Riverchase Baptist Church, Pelham.
   
One of the seminar attendees was Huntsville’s Southside Baptist member Susan Long, who related an incident that occurred during the early years of her nursing career. She recalled a father arriving at the hospital to see his new baby. He was told by a nurse that he would first have to put on a gown and mask. The nervous dad promptly removed all of his clothing and put on the backless gown. “Needless to say he, his wife and the nurse were quite embarrassed,” Long said.
   
During the seminar Watkins drew from his personal experiences as a lay visitor since the age of 16 and from his observations throughout the past 12 years as a hospital chaplain. He cited what he has concluded are the three major elements to a successful hospital visit — preparation, approaching the patient and journeying with the patient.
   
According to Watkins, preparation is paramount. He stresses visitors should be spiritually ready, having spent time in prayer and confession.
   
They also should be physically (appropriately dressed) and mentally ready to approach the patient.
   
Knowledge of the patient’s schedule helps the visitor avoid stopping in during inappropriate times. An understanding of the stage of the patient’s illness (diagnostic, treatment, recovery or terminal) keeps the visitor from asking irrelevant or insensitive questions. Those who are prepared tend to be more confident and less fearful of saying or doing the wrong thing.
   
“People do a lot of damage when they visit a hospital incorrectly, either by saying the wrong thing or they don’t know what to say at all,” said Joe Bob Mizzell, director of Christian ethics and chaplaincy of the SBOM. “This [seminar] helps chaplains and lay people immensely,” he added.
   
According to Watkins, observation is key when trying to find the best way to approach a patient. “Before you step foot in their room you should check with the nurse to make sure the patient is ready for a visitor. Once inside, let your initial focus fall on the patient,” Watkins said.
   
“Look for nonverbal cues such as a smile or a look of disinterest or pain.
   
“Understanding the patient’s emotional state will help determine the tone and direction of your conversation. Also be mindful of the periphery,” he explained, noting that the amount of cards and gifts scattered throughout the room is a good indication of the patient’s support system. He suggests the visitor position himself or herself to make eye contact with the patient. “Always try to sit down. These things suggest that you’re not in a hurry,” he noted.
   
“It’s a learning curve to see where people are and frankly not every visit is going to go well, but you just keep trying,” Watkins said. “It is your job to [find out] what the patients are asking for in their spirit, so you have a sense of what to talk about.
   
“Do you know what is a good dose of medicine for the patient?” Watkins asked his audience. “Sometimes it is for them to be able to express the feelings that are stirring within them and to feel they have been heard,” he shared.
   
Watkins, who visits more than 100 patients, family members and hospital staff per week, has determined one of his greatest assets is the ability to listen. He suggests visitors let the patient or family members own the conversation and determine its direction.
   
“Many pastoral visits would be enhanced if the visitor would sit on their need to fix things,” he added.
   
Watkins describes hospital visitors as compassionate companions in Christ, but says visitors should not feel obligated to pray or read Scripture if they don’t feel led. “Oftentimes that is exactly what the patient will want, other times it is not. Being sensitive to the patient’s needs is key,” he said.
   
Watkins stresses that most patients relish the support they get from the lay people who visit them. But he also sees a lot of patients neglected by their church family or ones who get a lot of support initially, but then are forgotten. Adding, “The frequency of the visits is more important than the duration.”
  
Watkins said that most pastors report their visits are 15–20 minutes in length. He encourages the visitor to also include the family when ministering to a patient. “They too are suffering and need support.”
   
Watkins has seen a significant increase in the numbers of lay people entering into hospital ministry and hopes to hold another training conference in 2002. He would also like to publish a handbook on “How to Visit the Hospital Correctly” and distribute it among Alabama churches.