Several years ago there was a point in my church’s worship service when we observed the offertory, the traditional passing of the donation baskets. We don’t do that any more. Now members are encouraged to simply drop their offerings into one of several receptacles located around the campus.
This change also eliminated the need for an offertory prayer. In my large church the deacons would take turns coming to the lectern to lead the congregation in a prayer of gratitude and reverence. One time when it was my turn to do the prayer, I dutifully sat in the front pew awaiting the moment. The offertory prayer usually came right after the preacher’s message and the accompanying altar call. Being admittedly vain and self-conscious, I wanted to look my best so I had bought a new pair of black dress shoes. I had been having a few issues with my feet so I bought shoes a half size larger than usual to avoid rubbing and irritation.
When the choir ended its song the sanctuary fell silent, and it was time for me to ascend the few steps leading up to the dais. Unfortunately, the tip of one of my oversized shoes caught the top step, and I lost my balance and fell flat on my face beneath the podium. I wasn’t hurt, but I could hear the collective gasp of the congregation as I pulled myself up. Incredibly embarrassed, my mind was racing, trying to decide what to say or do. I wound up bending over and throwing my arms out to the side while hollering “Safe!” the way a baseball umpire would do when somebody dives into a base.
The sanctuary burst out in loud laughter and the tension disappeared. I proceeded with the prayer, and afterward several people remarked how clever and funny that was, and some wondered if I had planned the whole thing all along. Of course, I told them I had. Just wanted to lighten things up, you know.
Forgive me, Lord, for lying. And thank you, Lord, for rescuing me even in my most awkward and humiliating moments. Oh, and let’s just keep the truth between You and me, OK?
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