EVANSTON, Ill. — Men and women married to United Methodist clergy say their families are subject to unrealistic notions of perfection and often suffer from isolation, according to a new survey. The study, conducted by the church’s Commission on the Status and Role of Women, surveyed 183 clergy spouses and found that one-quarter of respondents said they had no one to turn to for pastoral support other than their spouse.
“It is disheartening to know that many clergy spouses perceive they have no pastoral support,” said the report compiled by Mackie Norris, a pastor’s wife for more than 40 years. “Aside from their spouse, they generally identify no pastoral support.”
The report was presented to commission members in February and will also be presented to delegates at the denomination’s General Conference meeting in Pittsburgh (April 27–May 7) as part of a resolution to sustain “the emotional, spiritual, physical and economic health of our clergy families.”
Most said they would not seek help within the church. “Many made it clear that they would not use the existing denominational structure for assistance because of fear of the effect on the spouse’s career,” Norris said in her report.
The spouses said their partners suffered from overbooked schedules, inadequate housing, high expectations, a sense of isolation and having to find new jobs when their clergy spouse is assigned to a new church. They also said it was hard to develop meaningful friendships given the possibility of being reassigned to a new church.
Male spouses, who represented 15 percent of respondents, said their primary concern was “the time demand on their spouse and the subsequent potential for burnout.”
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