What if a child who is confused about his or her gender shows up at Vacation Bible School
(VBS)?
Experts suggest the first thing to do is meet with the child and his or her parents privately. Consider these tips during the meeting:
- Maintain the proper level of confidentiality as you gather information to make a decision about the child’s participation in VBS.
- During your conversation, find out where the parents are as related to the child’s gender identity issue. Their needs will be different based on whether they support the child’s decision versus being distraught about the situation.
- Assess whether the child looks like the gender he or she is trying to be and determine with the parents if it would be best to keep the information confidential.
- At the same time think through how the other parents would respond if they learned a transgender child was participating in VBS.
- Ask the parents what accommodations the school system is making for their child and see if the church might be able to match what is taking place at school.
- Determine if there would be an issue with restrooms related to the child.
- Most of all be respectful and kind to the family. Be open and honest. Share how you need to think through the situation to make sure it will work for both parties.
- Even if the church leader decides “we can’t make this work,” the family can feel respected if the situation is handled sensitively and wisely.
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