Henry Clarke has always enjoyed solving puzzles. But until he was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome at the age of 45, much of his life was a puzzle he just could not work out.
Things like math, engineering and computer systems were always a cinch for Clarke to understand, even without formal training. He could usually read a book or manual or just look at a problem and figure out what needed to be done. Because he found the pace of classroom learning boring, Clarke dropped out of school without finishing.
In his late teens he was watching TV one Sunday morning when he heard a TV minister asking viewers if they were tired of their lives. “I thought, ‘I would like my life to be different,’ and I prayed, but I didn’t know if it would be,” Clarke said.
After becoming a Christian, Clarke got his GED diploma and found acceptance from some young pastors. “They just loved me and accepted me,” he said. “While I didn’t notice how important that was, it was a contrast to being an outsider in other aspects of my life.”
Clarke moved to Florida to help with a new church, and within five years he was working at the largest engineering firm in Jacksonville, Fla. He also met his wife, Susan, a Bible school graduate who had just completed missionary work in Eastern Europe.
Throughout their marriage Susan Clarke observed her husband’s quirky and troubling behaviors, but because he was brilliant and successful she shrugged off his meltdowns and compulsions as eccentricity.
She finally realized her husband had a serious problem when he gave a talk at an Indiana church about their missionary work. As he spoke to the congregation he kept poking his fingers through holes in the lectern, so distracted by the holes he kept losing his train of thought. She confronted him about his behavior on the drive home, but he rejected her concerns.
She also was anxious about her husband’s social challenges. He often missed social cues and had to shut himself in the basement after periods of social or professional interaction with other people.
In 2009, when he was an associate pastor at Abundant Life Christian Center, East Syracuse, N.Y., Henry Clarke finally faced the puzzle that was his life.
He looked for answers. “I came across this article about adults with Asperger’s syndrome, and quite frankly, I thought I was reading my own story, so I dug further,” he said.
Henry Clarke took a test he found online — the Autism Spectrum Quotient — which indicated he likely had some form of autism. While the results were a revelation, it was still a devastating diagnosis. “It can only be described as my life coming together and falling apart at the same time,” he said.
His armchair diagnosis was soon confirmed by a neuropsychologist, and he looked to God for help.
“One of the things that helped me through all of this was something the apostle Paul wrote: ‘In my weakness, God’s strength is perfected,’” Henry Clarke said. “I had to acknowledge my weakness and (His) strength.”
The Clarkes are facing the issue head-on as co-pastors at Hillsview Church, Eastwood, N.Y., a new, independent congregation they’ve started.
“We’re trying to focus on helping and loving people, but we’re also saying whatever is on the inside of you, that’s what we want to develop,” Henry Clarke said. “And that means us being real honest with ourselves about what our limitations are and our need for one another.”
(RNS)
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