Tips for cherishing holiday time with family
By Hannah Muñoz
TAB Media digital editor
We’re officially in the holiday season! For a lot of reasons, I hope this brings you joy. But that joy usually is closely followed (or preceded) by some stress. And unfortunately, family can be a big part of that stress.
I am thankful for my parents and grandparents and brothers. And I really enjoy spending time with them. But this introvert also has gotten used to living with an introverted roommate.
So when I visit home, I’m excited to see all my family, but then I need space. I know it can come across as me being annoyed or pushing away, even though I usually don’t have that intention.
I recognize that for some of you, family is much more of a stressor due to differing beliefs or struggling relationships, and when you’re with a larger group of family, as is usually the case around the holidays, you can feel ganged up on.
So, I thought of some ideas to help alleviate some family stress and strengthen relationships during this time.
Check-in and catch up
Usually the holidays are focused around big family gatherings. Even if it’s just you, your parents and your siblings, everyone who is there is present for every moment. Try to take some individual time with each family member. It doesn’t have to be a day, it can just be a morning or afternoon. Or even just a meal.
Use that one-on-one time to catch up on the small things.
Since I don’t live super close to my parents and brothers, I almost always am caught up on the big things happening in our lives, but the smaller things are happening all the time without me telling my family or my family telling me. So get to know what’s been happening in their lives.
Next, go into the family gatherings with positive emotions. If you go in feeling angry, jealous, hurt or upset, it likely isn’t going to get better. You’ll probably stay feeling that way throughout the entire meal or gathering. If you need to, ask that some conversation topics be avoided to prevent big disagreements. Try to keep conversations personal, about each person’s job, life, etc.
Take some individual time for yourself. I’m a morning person, so I naturally wake up earlier than my brothers.
When I wake up, I go downstairs and spend some time with the dogs. Meanwhile, my mom drinks her coffee and watches TV in the living room, and my dad watches TV in the bedroom. My brothers take their individual times at night, usually playing video games or watching TV.
We all just created this habit while we were home, and it helps us to take some time for ourselves since we’re spending the rest of each day together. You might need to let your family know you just need a time to relax or reflect.
I hope you all have a great upcoming holiday season and that you enjoy the company of whomever you are spending it with.
EDITOR’S NOTE — Read more posts on contemporary issues at thescroll.com.
Plan ahead to reduce stress
Planning ahead can be vital for a lot of things. When it comes to the holidays, that’s especially true. …
While you might have some time off work, you still might not have enough time in the day to get everything done.
Between visiting other people and people visiting you, alongside all of the other activities you’ll have, there’s a lot of juggling to do.
You can, thankfully, plan ahead for most of this.
Figuring out meeting up with friends and family can be quite easy and only needs a few minutes of conversation. That’s also the case for any parties or other events that might happen over the holiday season.
You could also create a gift list to overcome the last-minute stress of present buying. Being able to check people off as you get your gifts could be more relaxing than you’d think.
“Need to Get Your Home Christmas-Ready? Keep These in Mind”
allthingschristmas.com
How to speak ‘truth in love’
Spiritual leaders especially need to find effective ways to speak truth to others within a gospel context, in accordance with Ephesians 4:15, “… speaking the truth in love.”
This verse is couched in Ephesians 4, a chapter devoted to promoting unity within the body of Christ. It is significant that these two virtues, truth and love, are linked together.
Speaking truth is the easy part — doing it with authentic grace and honesty takes it to another level.
These three considerations may help you to “speak truth in love”:
- Check your motivation. What is driving you? Has this person offended you? If so, are you pursuing a confrontation for your own purposes? Or, do you genuinely seek what is best for the other person? Take some time to think, pray and ask the Holy Spirit to cleanse your heart of any self-serving attitudes.
- Consider your timing. … If the opportunity presents itself, don’t hesitate. On the other hand, don’t force it if you sense the time isn’t right. Pray God will open the door to a conversation, if He so wills.
- Come up with a “word picture,” a metaphorical story or scenario used to express a truth. In 2 Samuel 12, the prophet Nathan confronted David regarding his adultery with Bathsheba. … Nathan skillfully wove [a] word picture in order that David might see his actions from God’s perspective. … [Nathan] illustrates an extremely effective way to communicate truth with someone in authority over you or someone who is resisting truth.
May we each have the wisdom to speak truth with love, waiting on God’s timing and doing so with a gracious spirit.
Susie Hawkins
Author and speaker
Bible.org blog
One of the things I love about Alabama Baptists is you’re not just restricted to the boundaries of your great state; you have a desire to see the gospel go beyond your borders … and to help us in reaching our state for Jesus Christ.
Randy Covington, Executive director
Alaska Baptist Resource Network
In my first year as [International Mission Board] president, I met a Mississippi pastor who told me this: “Mr. President, everything the IMB needs — more missionaries and more money — is in our churches. But you’re going to have to ask for it.” Well, I’m asking for it.
Paul Chitwood
IMB president
In the South, everybody loves football. As an athlete, it’s an easy way to talk to people and find a way to share the gospel message in a conversation.
Nathan East
Samford University football player
When we were looking at where to go, … we were just convicted that we needed to be in a place like this that didn’t have as many gospel opportunities.
Missionary Abby Rudd
Asian Pacific Rim
I’m just a backwoods preacher; I don’t know much, but I love Jesus.
Junior Hill
Alabama Baptist evangelist
A lot of times church people put on this church face, this façade, and pretend everything is fine, when the truth is that all of us are struggling, all of us are broken. Our invitation is “Come struggle with us toward Christ.”
Pastor Will Faulkenberry
Mosaic City Church, Huntsville, Ala.
When others see He is at the center of your life, they are more likely to place Him at the center of theirs.
Zachary Beasley, Baptist campus minister
Alabama State University and Tuskegee University
There are still people being saved. There are still marriages being healed. There are still lives being transformed. And don’t get me wrong, it’s hard to see it. But it’s there.
Pastor Jeff Meyers
First Baptist Church, Opelika, Ala.
We don’t need to let our feelings guide our life. True contentment is when we continue on faithfully and joyfully from the heart independent of the circumstance by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Kathy Litton
Director of planter spouse development for the North American Mission Board’s Send Network
Sexual abuse is an issue that our churches should be passionate about because it destroys faith and separates people from God.
Melissa Bowen
Retired attorney and member of FBC Prattville
The university campus is the greatest and most strategic missions field in the world.
Where else in the world has God brought together so many so they can hear and respond to the gospel?
Mike Nuss
Director of the office of collegiate and student ministries
Alabama Baptist State Board of Missions
From the Twitterverse
@shane_pruitt78
The other 11 disciples didn’t stop believing in Jesus because of the actions of Judas. If the actions of others wreck your faith, then you have to ask yourself, “was my faith in Jesus or people?”
@macbrunson
Expository sermons speak to the hunger for authority in a culture that rejects all authority but the errant, corrupted heart. Deep down we hunger for an authoritative Word … deep down we know our heart cannot provide it. (Much needed correction!)
@ricklance
Thank you, Alabama Baptists, for one of the very best convention meetings we have ever experienced. In these days of challenge, I am proud to be an Alabama Baptist.
@zvangieson28
I remarked to someone that it was a “boring” meeting in the best sense of the word. Testimonies, theme, reports all uplifting and encouraging. Grateful for your leadership (Rick Lance)!
@DL_Staples
A great gathering … I left encouraged, refreshed and with a renewed passion for the mission to be a Christ-centered pastor serving a Christ-centered church.
@LongHollow
Before you can experience all of Jesus, Jesus needs to have all of you. —@Rgallaty
@philipnation
I love this statement from G. Campbell Morgan:
“The supreme work of the Christian minister is the work of preaching. This is a day in which one of our greatest perils is that of doing a thousand little things to the neglect of the one thing, which is preaching.”
@micahfries
Every congregation is a congregation of sinners. As if that weren’t bad enough, they all have sinners for pastors. —Eugene Peterson
@DianeLangberg
To evade those who are suffering is to evade Him. To sit with those who are suffering is to sit with Him.
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