We have all likely heard the word “un-churched” used before, but the state of the contemporary church has recently led to the development of another designation for those who do not attend church; they are the “de-churched.”
The de-churched are persons who have had some previous involvement in a local church (usually as children, sometimes as adults) but have, for various reasons, become disenchanted with local church attendance. A few of them would admit they were never truly saved, but the overwhelming majority of them consider themselves to be born-again; they just don’t think that church participation is necessary.
According to the membership and attendance statistics of our own denomination, 50 to 60 percent of our own church members are de-churched.
It is this reality that brought about the resolution on Regenerate Church Membership and Church Member Restoration during the annual meeting of the Southern Baptist Convention in Indianapolis in June. It is clear that though we may have excelled at evangelism, we have faltered at retention. To reclaim the de-churched, we must understand them.
What causes a person to become de-churched? There are many reasons, but I believe there are five dominant ones.
First and the simplest reason people may become de-churched is because they are in unrepentant sin. All of us struggle daily with the flesh, but when Christians cease to struggle with sin and instead choose to live unrepentantly in sinful habits, fellowship with God’s people and worship of His name become very convicting endeavors. Thus, in an effort to flee conviction and a sense of guilt, they cut off their relationship with God and His church.
Second, many of the de-churched are not truly born again. Southern Baptists are a strongly evangelistic people, but some of our evangelism methods over the past several decades have invited false professions.
We have been too quick to count raised hands and repeated prayers as credible professions, and churches have failed to really invest themselves in the discipleship of new converts. Many de-churched persons had an emotional experience or walked an aisle early in life.
Many of them even possess a great deal of knowledge about God and Scripture, but they have not truly been born again. They are self-deceived (Jer. 17:9) and have no desire to be united to the body because they have not the Spirit and do not know Jesus Christ.
Third, people can become de-churched because they have been through hurtful church situations. Even in the most ideal situations, churches are still companies of redeemed sinners.
Christian leaders sometimes fall into gross immorality and deeply wound those who looked up to them. Some churches have people or power groups who place their selfish desires ahead of the Scriptures and the call to Christian love, so anger and adversity are the results.
Either way, people can be deeply hurt by such situations and have trouble trusting the church again.
Fourth, some people have simply received heretical teaching regarding the importance of the church. They have been erroneously taught that you can be in Christ without being part of His body in the biblical sense. They therefore believe that active participation in a faith community is optional. Such a perspective is a clear denial of the Bible’s teaching.
Fifth, many people have become disenchanted with the church because some churches have become so watered down. From their perspective, the church has become worldly and ceased to engage them with any real dialogue about the person of God and the true significance of faith. These fellowships, in the rush to be relevant, have lost their distinctiveness as set-apart communities of Christ.
The end result is that de-churched people feel that they can glean just as much (or more) truth and benefit from secular organizations than from their own church.
To reclaim the de-churched, each church must first take personal responsibility for the spiritual apathy and lack of love that we have demonstrated toward them. Making membership biblical and meaningful is the responsibility of each and every member of the body.
We must also teach and exemplify the truth that identifying with a local church and being faithful in attendance are not optional disciplines in Christianity (Heb. 10:24–25).
In so doing, we foster personal responsibility and set forth a biblical theology of membership. Our people must know that unless someone is physically unable, lack of church attendance is sinful.
Third, we must develop a definite plan for reaching out in love to those who may be hurt, wandering in sin or misinformed regarding the Bible’s teaching in this matter.
To “restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness” (Gal. 6:1) is one of the ways we “fervently love one another from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22). So how do we reach out in love to the de-churched?
- Initiate contact as soon as possible and persist in follow-up. Whether someone has been out two weeks or two years, we need to communicate that we care about them and miss them.
Even if they do not respond to our first attempts at contact, we must persist. It is not just the responsibility of ministers, it is the responsibility of every member. In many cases, we assist people in becoming de-churched by showing them that no one cared about their absence.
- Pray for them personally and in your small groups. “The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much” (James 5:16). We should pray for the de-churched just as fervently as we would pray for lost persons. Such prayer reflects our belief that God alone is the one who can heal hurts, forgive sins and restore fellowship. It also submits us to the Spirit and moves us to action.
- Speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). In reclaiming the de-churched, we may often find ourselves having to work through painful experiences, misperceptions and sinful behaviors.
We need to lovingly rebuild our relationship with these people, but we do not need to shrink back from bringing God’s Word to bear on sinful perceptions and behaviors. They need to be loved, but they need to be loved with God’s truth.
If they belong to Christ, it is God’s Word, more than our words, that will change their hearts.
- Be an example. None of us is perfect, but those who are striving for obedience stand out in the world. Thus we must demonstrate with our own lives how much we love God’s church.
We must hold ourselves and our families to a high standard in terms of attendance and involvement. The Lord can use our joyful example to help our wayward brothers and sisters see and desire the fruits of biblical obedience.
- Be ready to evangelize. Remember that some of these people may be unsaved, even though they may know all the “biblical” answers. In such cases, we must speak to the de-churched about the fruits of true salvation (one of them being a love for Christ’s bride, the church). It is not always a good idea to directly question someone’s salvation, but we can lovingly help him or her revisit the issue of their salvation as we take them through God’s Word.
As we are faithful to guide them in this way, God may use us to truly win them to Christ.
- Catch and release. In some cases, God will use us to reclaim our brethren to active involvement. If so, we need to rejoice and help them get reintegrated into our fellowship.
In other cases, people may come to the conviction that they need to return to church, but not our particular church. Some wounds go deep, and a fresh start in these cases is most beneficial.
In such situations, we must encourage our brethren to get faithfully involved in a sister fellowship. Obeying God in the discipline of church involvement is our obligation. Where we involve ourselves is our prayerful option.
If persons ultimately refuse our loving attempts to reclaim them (to our church or to any church), then we have a final obligation to remove them from membership.
This is a heart-breaking step to take, but inactive membership is a biblical oxymoron. If someone refuses at every turn to act like a believer and be accountable to their church family, they must be released to the world.
Though difficult, this step protects Christ’s reputation, it protects the church’s witness, and it keeps the person from believing that the church condones their sinful choices.
Even this is to be done in a spirit of love and with the prayer that God’s fatherly correction will at some point bring them home.
Editor’s Note — Shawn S. Merithew currently serves as senior pastor of Morningview Baptist Church, Montgomery, in Montgomery Baptist Association. He earned his M.Div. and his Ph.D. from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky.
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