I’m sorry. There is no cure for your illness. You will just have to learn to live with this.”
When I first heard these devastating words more than 30 years ago, I was totally unprepared to face a chronic disabling back problem. Most newly diagnosed chronically ill patients find this true. Sadly, the problem of chronic illness is widespread. Nearly one in every six Americans walks this path.
Chronic disease occurs at all ages. Robert was just 17 when a week’s nasty battle with “flu” turned out to be Type 1 diabetes. Karne, who has the digestive ailment Crohn’s disease, heard these words while still in college. Jerry, a sports enthusiast and family man, was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) when he was 32. Julie’s chronic fatigue syndrome afflicted this writer, wife and part-time working woman at age 45.
Chronic illness is not easy to accept or live with. The person suffers ups and downs. Like hiking a hilly trail, they can’t always see what lies ahead. The unpredictability vexes and at times overwhelms.
The chronically ill lose control over part or parts of their bodies and, for some, the freedom to come and go as they will or to eat what they want when they want. Many must follow special diets or exercise regimens. Some permanently lose their mobility.
Suffering losses
Some lose their driver’s licenses, others their ability to keep their jobs or to hold any job. Some can no longer live alone. A number must depend on others for both physical and financial assistance.
Few people like being a burden on others. Chronic illness brings many fears, the worst being the fear of what the future might bring. The thought of going downhill and having to someday accept a more difficult scale of living or of dealing with unrelenting pain can terrify and cause one to wonder, “How much quality of life will I lose?”
The challenges are hard. The chronically ill must learn how to live with whatever comes. Physicians advise them to live as normal a life as circumstances allow, for it is their route to the best possible quality of life.
To get there, they need to learn to cope with their physical challenges and to handle the emotional fallout and spiritual questioning that inevitably arise. In due time they will arrive at a comfortable level of acceptance and peace.
For some, the physical challenges are the hardest. Julie’s level-three fatigue syndrome left her unable to work and often bedridden. But for a great many, the emotional and spiritual challenges are greater than the illness itself. Downturns challenge the bravest hearts. Jerry, now unemployed and in a wheelchair, says, “Trying to keep hope alive is the hardest part for me.”
Nevertheless, while life appears more burdensome for the chronically ill, nothing about such illnesses can keep them from transcending the illness to live a meaningful, satisfying life if they choose. Faith makes the difference. Faith strengthens.
Religious faith is an “especially powerful” resource for handling chronic illness with good outcomes, claims Kenneth Pargament, a member of a university group studying spirituality as a means of grappling with major life stressors.
Particularly helpful are such spiritual concepts as seeing God as a partner in coping (“The Lord is my Shepherd” Ps. 23:1), viewing the illness as a part of a bigger meaningful plan (“In your book were written all the days that were formed for me” Ps. 139:16), having a supportive religious network (the church), experiencing a connection with God (praying) and redefining one’s ultimate values and priorities (seeking to know and do God’s will).
Faith particularly helps the ill facing potentially bleak futures. Karen, facing Crohn’s disease at age 21, says, “When I start contemplating the greater plan for my life, I find I need to think day to day.” She derives comfort from Jesus’ message that, because He cares for such little things as flowers, birds and grasses, of course He will meet the much more important needs of people.
Regarding living with his MS, Jerry says, “I have always believed that God gives no one more than they can handle. I don’t know what God has in mind for me, but I believe God does, and I look forward to the day He shares His plans with me.”
Robert handles his fear of severe diabetic complications (blindness, limb amputation) by taking the very best possible care of himself and trusting God’s providence. He identifies with Genesis 32:24–32, where Jacob wrestled with the Lord, clinging to Him and not letting go until the Lord finally blessed him.
Julie believed from the onset of her chronic fatigue that God would return her to normal health. After 12 years, she was suddenly, miraculously healed. Sometimes it happens, for reasons doctors cannot explain.
Faith leads to acceptance and peace. Life for the chronically ill is not necessarily over, it has just changed.
Acceptance takes time and often comes hard. But sooner or later, new interests and different pleasures take the place of the old. Ultimately, those who trust the Lord find great peace in Him and new ways to serve Him.
For five years Jerry has been coaching sports teams and speaking to school groups about MS and etiquette toward the disabled.
Robert’s diabetes prompted him to become an ordained minister.
My chronic back trouble led me away for a more active life to become a religious writer, a vocation in which I found abundant joy.
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